Three Pieces of Advice on Gossip

Insomuch as it depends on me, I shall be at peace with all men. This is a hard mantra to live by. Living in a small community, virtually everyone you meet knows someone who knows you.  It is healthy and worthwhile to keep updated with friends and current events.  There is a fine line that borders hearsay and meddling however.  When people ask me about a struggle with such issues, and I have a hard time walking that line while being human and fallible, I can only summarize my advice as three things; don't listen, don't relay, forgive.

• Whoever gossips to you will gossip about you. --Spanish Proverb
• What you don't see with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. --Jewish Proverb
• A mind conscious of innocence laughs at the lies of rumor --Latin Proverb

#1 My thoughts on this: When you hear a rumor disguised as news, try to recognize it for what it is and consider the motive and character of the person relaying the news before considering the content. When that news is about you, you can only remember the same thing and hope that others do as well.

• I resolve to speak ill of no man whatever, not even in a matter of truth; but rather by some means excuse the faults I hear charged upon others, and upon proper occasions speak all the good I know of everybody. ~Benjamin Franklin
• Because they are mean is no reason why I should be. I hate such things, and though I think I've a right to be hurt, I don't intend to show it. ―Louisa May Alcott, Little Women

#2 My thoughts on this: It is better to be known as the bearer of good news. Conveying rumor is as bad as creating it. Rumor in any form is ugly and it make the bearer ugly as well.

• I forgot that every little action of the common day makes or unmakes character, and that therefore what one has done in the secret chamber one has some day to cry aloud on the house-tops. ~Oscar Wilde 
• Before I can live with other folks I've got to live with myself. The one thing that doesn't abide by majority rule is a person's conscience. ~Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird 
• Gossip is called gossip because it's not always the truth. ~Justin Timberlake

#3 My thoughts on this: Whether they say it to each others' faces or not, people usually know the truth. There is only one person that we ultimately shall be judged by and it is not those spreading rumors as news. A rumor seldom is completely true and even if it is, it is seldom the news-bearer's business. Sometimes rumors hurt you and it is best to address them directly rather than respond to the messenger. Forgive 70 times 7 times and if it still hurts perhaps you didn't really forgive at all.