Story about a Duck

Here's a little story about a duck named "feathers"

Imagine a man who works with his hands is outside working and sees a mama duck.  Now imagine that mama duck has a trail of 10 or so baby ducklings behind her (I'm talking BABY baby ducks...itty bitty ones).  Mama duck is walking along a tall wall and sees some stairs so she goes down them.  The baby ducks, still waddling in a line behind each other, stay on the wall, unaware of mom's diversion.  Mom waddles along a bit more, realizes that the babies have not followed her, and calls up to them.  The babies, in angst over their mother's separation, attempt to jump to her.  One after one, the baby ducklings don't survive.  Perhaps only 3 of the ten make the jump safely.  One of them has a hurt foot and cannot keep up as momma duck waddles away with the remaining 3 of the original 10 baby ducks.  All of this is viewed by the man working with his hands outside.  He sees the injured duck and makes his way to it, scoops it up into his hat and nurtures it as he brings it home.  Now image that man has a daughter.  That daughter LOVES animals and quickly comes to the aid of the duck and names it "feathers".  The girl helps her father make a crate for "feathers" and raise it from barely a handful of down to a full grown adult duck.  She feeds it, plays with it, cares for it and eventually realizes that ducks are better off in the wild.  She comes to a hard realization of the love it takes to set something free.  It takes a special kind of heart to make a sacrifice like that.  Imagine this proud mom and dad sniffing and blinking as their daughter releases "feathers" into a lake. 

The Value of Good Friends

Friends come and go.  It's a fact of life.  It first happens when you switch schools, then at high school graduation, again when you graduate college, and over and over throughout life changes of moving homes and changing jobs.When that original change happens, you may worry about whether the friendship can survive the distances and oftentimes presumptuously are optimistic when it really wasn't warranted.  Some of those friends I never saw again and, if I'm being honest with myself, I probably rarely think of that person and possibly don't even remember their name.

But it's those rare gems that are the true seasoning to life.  Those folks that now spread across the entire west coast for me but may as well live in the next town over.  I have found a good test of the quality of a friendship (on either/both ends) is after being apart.  I can count on two hands the folks that we once spent some very significant time with and now see only on seldom occasions.  These are the folks that when you greet each other it is not uncomfortable.  There are hugs rather than handshakes, smiles rather than silences and you both seem to pick up right where things left off.

I recently added another name to that list and although it pains me to not have that significant time any more, it is a comfort to recognize them as gems rather than feel the loss of change.  I know many of you who read this blog are my gems and I just wanted to remind you how much we miss you all and would love you to come visit.  The mountain is beautiful this time of year and I have a fold out bed waiting for anyone who calls first dibs. XOXO

Catching Up (Where I've Been)

I have been an avid scrapbooker for many years now.  It started before we ever had kids in an attempt to do something with the many pictures we took with our friends.  Once a week, some girlfriends and I would rent an old movie and the husbands/boyfriends would play poker while we watched our movie and scrapbooked.  We used scizzors, glue and paper.  No fancy schmancy gadgets.  It was a very fun time in our lives so there was a lot to scrapbook and I looked forward to our weekly gatherings.

As all of our lives progressed, and people moved here and there, the weekly gathering stopped and we began to do scrapbooking whenever we had spare time on our own.  I still enjoyed it very much on my own and relished the time spent reminiscing about previous activities.

Then we moved and had our little princess.  It was the perfect excuse to scrapbook all of her new moments and our adventure with her.  She wasn't really doing much yet so I could scrapbook while she napped or taught herself Mandarin.  I was scrapbooking things the month after they happened.  That was 2006.  I think her baby book is longer than War and Peace.  Before we knew it, we were expecting our second little bundle of joy.  Now having a mobile 1 year old and a nursing newborn, there was less time for scrapbooking but not wanting to be unfair to our little boy, I put together his baby book and it is also fairly long, although somehow it didn't get completed until 2009.  Don't judge me.

So there I was, in 2009 and having to decide how to proceed with this hobby.  I now had TWO mobile toddlers who loved to take pens off of counters and take (read: hide) anything that mommy showed interest in.  So scrapbooking hit the back burner for a while.  Then all of the sudden some other girlfriends and I had the brilliant epiphany that our children liked to play together so we should let them!  Enter stage left: our new excuse to scrapbook together!

In an effort to expedite my scrapbooking, I attempted to digitally create my 2008 book but soon abandoned it because I didn't want to be staring at a computer screen while my girlfriends were happily cutting and pasting around me.  We had all sorts of new gadgets and gizmos that I wanted to create with so I decided to move on with my photos for 2009 in the hands-on approach.  I wasn't nearly as efficient at scrapping my photos but with a few strategically planned "mom's weekend"s, I was able to keep up fairly well for a couple years.

And then came school.  My ballerina started kindergarten and with it came a whole new set of hours that we had to be home and in the car and here and there and everywhere.  So there was no more time for our mommy playdates to scrapbook.  Fast forward a year of kindergarten (2011) and a year of homeschool (2012) and I found myself looking at scrapbooks yesterday, thinking "Where did 2008 go?".  Resolved to not let the photos go to waste, I locked myself in the office and cranked out a digital scrapbook for 2008 - WHEW!  Five years later, but it is done!  I feel so accomplished!

Now, having 2009-1010 already done from previous mommy playdates, I am only behind by 2 years, and that seems manageable.  I mean, I can actually REMEMBER those events :)  In scrapbookers' terms, it's "recent".  Which leaves me looking forward.  For all of you mommies out there who have boxes of photos piling up on your desk: Anybody up for a mommy's scrapbooking weekend over Labor day?  Let's DO this!

Three Pieces of Advice on Gossip

Insomuch as it depends on me, I shall be at peace with all men. This is a hard mantra to live by. Living in a small community, virtually everyone you meet knows someone who knows you.  It is healthy and worthwhile to keep updated with friends and current events.  There is a fine line that borders hearsay and meddling however.  When people ask me about a struggle with such issues, and I have a hard time walking that line while being human and fallible, I can only summarize my advice as three things; don't listen, don't relay, forgive.

• Whoever gossips to you will gossip about you. --Spanish Proverb
• What you don't see with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. --Jewish Proverb
• A mind conscious of innocence laughs at the lies of rumor --Latin Proverb

#1 My thoughts on this: When you hear a rumor disguised as news, try to recognize it for what it is and consider the motive and character of the person relaying the news before considering the content. When that news is about you, you can only remember the same thing and hope that others do as well.

• I resolve to speak ill of no man whatever, not even in a matter of truth; but rather by some means excuse the faults I hear charged upon others, and upon proper occasions speak all the good I know of everybody. ~Benjamin Franklin
• Because they are mean is no reason why I should be. I hate such things, and though I think I've a right to be hurt, I don't intend to show it. ―Louisa May Alcott, Little Women

#2 My thoughts on this: It is better to be known as the bearer of good news. Conveying rumor is as bad as creating it. Rumor in any form is ugly and it make the bearer ugly as well.

• I forgot that every little action of the common day makes or unmakes character, and that therefore what one has done in the secret chamber one has some day to cry aloud on the house-tops. ~Oscar Wilde 
• Before I can live with other folks I've got to live with myself. The one thing that doesn't abide by majority rule is a person's conscience. ~Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird 
• Gossip is called gossip because it's not always the truth. ~Justin Timberlake

#3 My thoughts on this: Whether they say it to each others' faces or not, people usually know the truth. There is only one person that we ultimately shall be judged by and it is not those spreading rumors as news. A rumor seldom is completely true and even if it is, it is seldom the news-bearer's business. Sometimes rumors hurt you and it is best to address them directly rather than respond to the messenger. Forgive 70 times 7 times and if it still hurts perhaps you didn't really forgive at all.

Define "Better"

All of my life I have been looking for something "better".  I think everyone does.  At first, it was better toys, then competing better at sports, wanting better boyfriends, getting better grades, looking for a better place to live, moving on to a better job, better pay, eating better, better quality of life, better this, better that, and in the last few years looking for better ways to spend my time.

It's funny, thinking back on it.  If I review this blog, I began it when I first had my kiddos (stick with me here, it will all tie together in a minute).  This blog was an effort to get information to the masses without having to retell stories multiple times since my "mommy brain" often times forgot key details from one telling to the next.  I would spend one night per week, after the kids went to bed, updating the blog.  It was simple and easy and effective.  And then it happened.  A friend whom I love dearly (and shall remain nameless but lives in Washington and has a dog who's name rhymes with Kadabby) introduced me to this neat new website called Facebook.  At first, I was only on it to get to see her pictures but I soon realized the potential of being able to communicate with multiple friends and family the same way I did on my blog and ALSO have the added bonus of seeing their posts as well.  It seemed, at the time, to be a win-win situation.  So although I continued to sparingly post to my blog (for those few non-Facebookers), my primary mode of mass communication became Facebook.  It just seemed "better" (tied in, see where I was going?).

This worked out better for me for more than a year.  And then, well... it just wasn't.  I'll admit I enjoyed seeing everyone's happenings and goings-on, but somewhere along the line, I began to realize that for some, it's the new form of keeping up with the Jones'.  Think:"I've got 400 friends, how many does ___ have?".  And then some people were fishing for information on one another and passing on things they'd read to others without really conversing.  So I would periodically go through and weed out the random on-lookers who weren't really into being friends so much as being spies or shadows.  I mean really, I have fond memories of ex-coworkers and can appreciate the girl who trims my hair, but do they need to know where I have gone on vacation?  And do I need to see pictures of their dog?  No, I don't.  So my compromise was to keep my "friends" list under 100 people if possible.  Since over 50 of them were actually family, it wasn't as big of a list as it seems.  That seemed to spare me from being too much of a part of rumor mills.  It seemed "better" to limit myself to only conversing with family and folks I saw on a regular basis, who knew me and my kids socially and who cared about my post and would eventually talk to me about it in person.

And then this June, I went back and looked through my blog again.  It had been over 6 months since I updated the blog and it hit me - like a ton of diapers and clocks dropped on my head.  Facebook wasn't really a better use of my time.  In fact, it was a HUGE waste of my time.  I would wake up in the morning and check to see what had happened since going to bed.  I would check my phone periodically throughout the day for people's updates and to tell anyone interested where I found a really good sandwich shop.  Then at night I would check it again before going to bed.  All in all, a over an hour must have been spent on Facebook every day.  Think about that.  1 hour per day times 8 days means I was losing almost a full workday every week (almost 2 months a year) just trying to keep the masses and myself updated.  Now don't get me wrong.  There were a lot of advantages to Facebook.  My mom-friends arranged our playdates on a group site.  My bunco group plans our meet-ups there too.  I could hear about friends in need and try to help out.  I could send pictures to all of my family that live in other states (now spread in every state on the west coast).  There were some nice advantages to participating in the Facebook community, but when it came right down to it, was it a "better" use of my time?  I am convinced that it was not.

So I quit.  Just like that.  In the very definition of cold-turkey.  It took me 2 hours to delete all of my pictures and friends and I even went back and removed posts in the previous 4 months just in case someone were to think "hey, she's still on here, look, she just posted 2 weeks ago" and feel rejected about being un-friend-ed.  For a few days, I found myself looking at my phone periodically through the day and realized just how overwhelming it had become in my schedule.  This only served to reinforce how correct my decision was to quit.  I vowed to update the blog for the last 6 months, which is how you find me here now.  I will try to be more vigilant about loading pictures for my loved ones in Alaska, Washington, Oregon, Arizona, California, Utah and Idaho who are genuinely interested in what we've been up to.  Feel free to email me to remind me if I forget to update here.  Or better yet, call or come visit.  But if I don't update this blog very often, please be understanding and realize I am hopefully off somewhere, with something better to do.

Horney Toad

Nope.  He did NOT learn that from his mommy.
 
We were out on a hike while camping in the local forest when something by my foot moved.  I instinctively jumped away from it (think - rattlesnake freakout) and that obviously caught the other three's attention.  Daddy was excited to see a horney toad (I have to say I was a bit relieved as well).  He explained to the kids that it was not poisonous and so my brave little man reached down and picked it up.  Right on buddy - way to come to mommy's rescue and slay the dragon (okay, he didn't KILL it, but really, being brave is what it's all about, right?).

YUCK

There are people in this world who don't know a salmon from a trout from a goldfish.  They would look at this picture and say "WOW, that's a big fish".  I, however, am not one of those people.  Although I can appreciate the skill necessary to catch this monster and the strength necessary to fight it to the shore, my response is more of a yuck than a wow.  People DO eat them though.  Not me, but someone does.  I suppose one man's trash is another man's treasure.  Nice catch daddy, even if it IS a carp.

Skitter

I would like to preface this blog by stating that it was not my idea.  In fact, in my eyes, hamsters are mice without tails - EW.  But my daughter loves her new hamster, "Skitter".  As it turns out, she picked a roborovski hamster.  Little did I know at the time, but they are the smallest and fastest of all hamsters.  So now it has somehow become my job to retrieve little Skitter from his cage since no one else can catch him.  My daughter has been holding him every day and he is slowly becoming more comfortable in her hands and will sit still for short periods of time before jetting off in one direction or another, at which point it is my darling hubby's job to retrieve Skitter for her.  At least it has given them another bonding activity and for that I am grateful.  Bonding - yes, hamster food in the carpet - not so much.

My Bad Investment

Last year my hubby mentioned that he'd like to have another boat.  If I knew then what I know now, I would have just let him stew on it until he found one that he was happy with.  But no.  Of course, almost immediately I began perusing craigslist for things that might interest him.  As we had sold our previous pontoon boat the year before, we were considering the idea of buying another one.  When one came up locally for $2500 I took the opportunity to go check it out.  I mean, they're usually in the $7000-$10,000 range, who wouldn't go look?

Well, the guy sold me on it and I bought it (due to my smooth talking) for $1500!  Woo Hoo!  Oh wait, I don't know the first thing about boats.  But it had a new canvas shade/top.... Of course, the first time we took it out it broke down and my husband wanted to sink it to the bottom of the lake.  My brother talked him out of sinking it and the boat sat, untouched, next to the house all winter long.

Once spring rolled around I fixed it up, painted and re-carpeted it using supplies already around our house.  Hubby (reluctantly) fixed the broken starter and rewired a couple items and I was able to sell it for $2400.  I've got to say though, for the $900 profit I may have accumulated off of the deal, I consider the whole transaction a loss.  Don't ever buy in anything that may cost your marriage more than your pocketbook.  I'd pay the $900 back not to have had those arguments about the boat or feel my hubby's resentment for 6 months.  Some investments just aren't worth the profit.

Brave

We have been working with our little guy to try to get him to be less timid and more brave in everyday situations. As a general rule, we have tried to encourage him to do one brave thing every day. We are emphasizing that being brave and having courage doesn't mean you aren't afraid, in fact, it means that often times you ARE afraid and just don't let it keep you from doing something that you would otherwise enjoy. Case in point, playing on the bounce-house slide recently. Although he was afraid at first, he conquered his fear and went down the slide, only to realize how fun it was and want to immediately go again...You will see from the following video, that we haven't had to have this talk with his sister...

Oh How I've Missed You.

My darling NASCAR,

I know it's been a while since we've seen each other. I have been lax in my visitations and I truly regret the time we have spent apart. I have only myself to blame. I have found myself a higher calling, as a mommy, and this has caused me to put you on the back burner for quite some time now. I hope you understand. It's not you, it's me (and them).

But wait! There is still hope for us! I have introduced my beautiful darlings to your western track, Fontana, and they hit it off right away. Was it the snacks? Was it the headphones? Maybe the high speed action? I don't know. But whatever it was, there was chemistry and I like where this is headed. I am including a photo of our latest trip to visit in hopes that you will be understanding of the past absences and look forward to our next meeting, hopefully very soon.

Silly Girl

I was playing with my daughter's hair the other day and wound up putting it up into two very VERY tight buns. The following morning, when I took it out, her long flowing locks were so tightly curled that it barely made her hair reach her chin! After a little mousse and coaxing with a comb, it relaxed down and was very pretty. I liked it so much that we decided to take a picture of her. Of course, we couldn't just take a picture of the back. I had to get my little girl's beautiful face. One thing led to another and....

The View from the Rim

Why would anyone ever want to leave our mountain?

Team Jenna

We made a drive down to see cousin Jenna play in the Southern California Regional Semi-finals for basketball last week. She is graduating soon and it was one of our last chances to see her play. Of course, we might be biased, but really, the girl's got some pretty good handles. Unfortunately I think she was just recovering from pneumonia and had pulled her leg muscle so she wasn't playing as good as she possibly could but was still out-shining almost every girl on the court. She has a very good grasp on the position of her players and can visualize the court and make confident, effective passes. Congratulations on your win Jenna and good luck Mission Prep on the rest of your tournament.

I am SO Thankful

Every day my hubby drives to work and busts his hump so that we can have a home, cars, food and the other nice things we enjoy. Even when it's nasty icy weather and the kids and I are staying home because school has been canceled, he goes to work in weather like this:
I got so lucky that he found me. He is a good man.

LBBOL

Last weekend we went to visit our friends to shower one of the ladies with gifts while she's pregnant. I just love baby showers. There is so much to be thankful for in this world and children are one of the best blessings to be thankful for. Here is the host (my sister, Lyss), The mom-to-be, Sarah, and yours truly, in post shower bliss:
Congratulations Miss Sarah & Wally on your upcoming baby girl. I can't wait to meet your daughter. I just know you two will make great parents.

In Good Hands

We were originally considering keeping our little darling home this year for home schooling until the school was willing to put her into advanced classes (around 2-4 grade). We reconsidered when we learned a little more about one of the teachers. She is so sweet to the kids, very organized and well, just has her act together. Although I was a little tentative at first about how much time was being wasted in the classroom on non-learning activities, I am so happy that we decided to keep her in school. She is beginning to bring home some advanced homework and all of the "non-learning" activities are the parts that she reports about when I pick her up. It is then that she is learning coping and dealing social skills that I just can't teach her at home. I am glad now, even though I know she is not learning at her highest potential yet, because (like I originally guessed) a big part of what children learn in school has nothing to do with textbooks or worksheets. Her teacher is well equipped to monitor and guide those activities as well. Our little kindergartner is indeed in good hands.

Woops.

The kiddos got invited to a tea party for one of their little toddler friends a couple weeks back. It was a party open to both girls and boys so we loaded up the kiddos and headed on over. I had packed up some Triscuits and cut cheese slices into little leaves and acorns for a festive fall touch to the dish. Since we were pretty excited about going, we stopped by the local grocery store and picked up some petit fores from their cutesy bakery.

The tea was going smashingly, with the kids playing on the playground and then a few hide and seek games and it was time to eat. Everyone was having a great time, enjoying the treats when the host's daughter began crying and then vomiting. Everyone looked shocked and then panicked about what could possibly be wrong. As it turns out, the little girl has nut allergies...BAD nut allergies. Guess what is in petit fores? Almond paste.

Did I know that before I bought and brought them? No.
Would I go back and NOT bring them if I could? Absolutley.
Is there anything I could do at the time except apologize profusely and offer any help I could give (which was really none)? Nope.

I felt HORRIBLE. The poor thing threw up the whole rest of the party and didn't get to enjoy her pretty tea party that her mommy had thrown for all of us. Who gets mommy of the week award for that week? Not this girl. Woops.

Kinder-what?

Yeah, I admit it, I am in denial. There is no way that my precious little girl is old enough for school. What happened to her lying on the floor in the living room, reaching for the toys as I cheered her on, hoping she'd learn to roll over? What happened to her first stumbling steps? and waking up crying at night wanting to be cuddled? and learning to brush her teeth? What do you mean it's all been done already? There doesn't seem like there's been enough time...

One More to Go

Before we had kids, at one point, between CPA firms, I worked in an office with a man who was from a mix of Chinese and Hawaiian backgrounds. His name was Alan and he was my boss. So when Alan would stop by my 4x6 cubicle (gee, why do you suppose I quit?), Alan would talk about his family and, since he was my boss, I would sometimes listen.

Alan had three boys and they were the primary topic of conversation. Well, as Alan explained, the first birthday party is HUGE in his culture (not sure if it was Chinese or Hawaiian or both). He explained that it had something to do with getting through the year of highest infant mortality rate, but I came to later guess it had something to do with just surviving a year of the parents' sleep deprivation.

Anyway, they threw very large, extravagant parties for the first birthday of each boy. I liked this idea and for both of our kids I did the same thing. Each of these first birthday parties kind of carried over to their second, third and yes, fourth and fifth birthday parties as well. Whereas many people get a few kids together for cupcakes and PB&J, we have invited as many as 70 people and spent months planning and preparing for them. So it was with a little relief and also much regret that my eldest child (who will be starting school in the fall) and I had a talk about what we would be doing for her next party. My suggestion to her, in the hope that it would be more intimate, and knowing she would be making some new friends this year, was that she pick 5 friends and we will go do something with them. No fireworks, no bells or whistles, just start the tradition of a "normal" child's birthday party. She was receptive to the idea and we agreed that my littlest's 5th party next year will be the last sha-bang. Although I know I may regret it later (I really do look forward to all of our friends in one place together), perhaps it will save me a little bit of sanity in the long run. So mark your calendars folks, next July is the last in a series of ten shin-digs in the Mountains. I hope you all can make it!