Before we had kids, at one point, between CPA firms, I worked in an office with a man who was from a mix of Chinese and Hawaiian backgrounds. His name was Alan and he was my boss. So when Alan would stop by my 4x6 cubicle (gee, why do you suppose I quit?), Alan would talk about his family and, since he was my boss, I would sometimes listen.
Alan had three boys and they were the primary topic of conversation. Well, as Alan explained, the first birthday party is HUGE in his culture (not sure if it was Chinese or Hawaiian or both). He explained that it had something to do with getting through the year of highest infant mortality rate, but I came to later guess it had something to do with just surviving a year of the parents' sleep deprivation.
Anyway, they threw very large, extravagant parties for the first birthday of each boy. I liked this idea and for both of our kids I did the same thing. Each of these first birthday parties kind of carried over to their second, third and yes, fourth and fifth birthday parties as well. Whereas many people get a few kids together for cupcakes and PB&J, we have invited as many as 70 people and spent months planning and preparing for them. So it was with a little relief and also much regret that my eldest child (who will be starting school in the fall) and I had a talk about what we would be doing for her next party. My suggestion to her, in the hope that it would be more intimate, and knowing she would be making some new friends this year, was that she pick 5 friends and we will go do something with them. No fireworks, no bells or whistles, just start the tradition of a "normal" child's birthday party. She was receptive to the idea and we agreed that my littlest's 5th party next year will be the last sha-bang. Although I know I may regret it later (I really do look forward to all of our friends in one place together), perhaps it will save me a little bit of sanity in the long run. So mark your calendars folks, next July is the last in a series of ten shin-digs in the Mountains. I hope you all can make it!